What shall we nickname you?

Hello again, Baby Tigh. So far that has been what we call you. Baby Tigh. I have to be honest with you. We've been hesitant to nickname you because we are afraid. We are afraid we might lose you, and we desperately want to keep you. As I said before, we have so many questions. I wonder if you'll have red hair like your dad, or brown hair like me. What color will your eyes be?

But the most important question of all: who will you be?

You see, it's hard for me to pick a nickname because it conveys a good bit about a person, and I don't know who you are yet. But it will be a good deal of time before I know who you are, and I don't want to stick with generics. You are not an "it". You are a child; our child. You are Baby Tigh... but that's so generic.

Your big brother Zach has many nicknames. He is Zach Attack. Zacharoo, Zacharooni, etc. All plays on his name, with the exception of one: he is Thing 1. Among the items I already have for you, I have a Thing 2 onesie, an outfit I intend to bring you home from the hospital in. You are our Thing 2. But it feels a little odd to call you Thing 2 while you are still so small. I do have a feeling that it may stick though.

Our long awaited Thing 2. Our glorious rainbow after the storm of infertility, Thing 2.

And yet, as I write this I got another gush of spotting. Thing 2, I need you to stop that! 4 days of doing everything I can to hang on to you.. 4 days of waiting and watching and worrying. Mommy's scared, sweetheart, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

So this is why we hesitate. We hold back, expecting that if we lose you we will somehow be less devastated because we never allowed ourselves to get too attached. But that's not the truth no matter what. We're attached to you, we are hopeful for you, and we love you very much. We are in awe of you! You are so tiny, and you have no idea how the world works, but I can tell you that every pregnancy is a miracle. There are so many factors that go into this, it's a wonder anyone gets pregnant. But here you are! Alive! Growing in my stomach! You are a miracle from God!

You are our miracle; my miracle. Our long awaited miracle. We want to celebrate you, but fear is holding us back. We've already told the world about you. We are all praying for you. Hopeful for you. and yet feeling on the verge of devastation. You are so little, you are merely the size of an appleseed. But you hold our hearts, Thing 2. Please stay with us, little one. I couldn't bear to lose you.

Hello Baby Tigh

Hi baby. I'm your mommy, and I really want to meet you. I have so many questions about you. Are you a boy or a girl? Will you be tall like your daddy or short like me? What will be your favorite color? Will you be like your big brother? You know he can't wait to meet you either. He loves you so much that his entire face lights up whenever he thinks of you.

You're so small we haven't been able to see you yet, but that's okay. Love can come in very small packages, and we all love you so very much, baby. We have waited so long for you, and we just know you will be the perfect fit for our family.

Over the past few days, you have given mommy some scares. Be strong, baby, and grow. Fight for us the way we have fought for you. You are so lucky. You have so many people on your side. So many people who love you and will love to see you grow, and who pray for you daily.

I want you to know that you are more than 2 lines on a test to us, or some numbers on a page. You are long sought after. You are wanted. You are loved and cherished. I can't wait to see you on November 4th. So hang on, little bean. Hang on tight and grow. Grow so you can come out and meet your mommy, daddy and big brother.